Who Will We Marry
- revised by Phillip Shumake
The one we select to marry is the second most important decision we will ever make in our life. Our most important decision is to become a Christian. Marriage must be approached very seriously. The odds of a marriage succeeding are greatly increased when one marries a Christian. Jesus says, “what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is a sacred lifelong commitment. God does not intend for married couples to divorce. Marriage is “until death do us part”.
In our marriage we must put God first in all that we do. Jesus says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). Both husband and wife should be servants of the same master, God. We are commanded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?…Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).
Concerning the unbelieving Canaanites, the children of Israel were commanded, “Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). One’s chances of being led away from the Lord and losing his soul greatly increases when one marries one who is not a faithful Christian. Paul commands widows who remarry to marry “only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). In other words they are commanded to marry only a Christian. If this applies to a widow why shouldn’t it also apply to a single person?
We are to bring our children “up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). How can we do this in a religiously divided home? Parents who both are faithful Christians can have a greater influence on their children than if only one is a Christian. It is very confusing to a child if one of his parents is a Christian and the other a member of a denomination. Which one will the child follow? Which one will have the greater influence on him? Will he be saved or lost because of this divided influence.
If you are married to one who is a member of a denomination or one who has no belief at all, on Sunday morning will you both go to worship together in the Lord’s church or to your spouse’s denomination? Or will you both stay at home? Or will you attend the worship of the Lord’s church by yourself while your spouse attends his/her denomination or stays at home? One of these above scenarios will happen. Marrying someone who is not a Christian will most likely cause much heartache. “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3). A survey shows that seven out of ten who marry a non-Christian will eventually leave the Lord’s church and only one in six will convert their spouse. This is a very spiritually dangerous situation. Stop and count the cost. Don’t gamble with your soul and your children’s souls by not marrying a faithful Christian.